OMD: Sucks to be you
YP: Last I sniffed, you don’t have thumbs either
OMD: But I’m not stuck in a playpen
YP: Despite all my rage, I am still just a dog in a cage
OMD: It’s “rat” and this is a family blog, no plagiarism
YP: (Sung, or more likely, howled) nobody knows the troubles I have seen
OMD: Keep the whelping down you whippersnapper, trying to take a nap here
YP: You’re always napping
OMD: I need a nap from my nap
YP: Don’t you want to go out and run, to chase imaginary rabbits, to dig, to get into the garbage, to romp like a banshee!
OMD: And that’s why you’re in a cage
YP: Don’t you yearn to be free, to feel the wind in your fir, to sniff strangers’ crotches
OMD: Freedom is overrated. i’ll take my daily square meals and this comfy couch, and the occasional crotch
YP: That’s it? isn’t there more to life than sleeping and eating dry kibble?
OMD: Mmmmm, kibble. Yeah, there’s doggie treats too
YP: I’m talking about the big picture – a supreme furry being
OMD: You mean like Snoopy?
YP: I was thinking more like Pluto
OMD: I don’t believe in DOG
OMD: Sorry, I’m dyslectic agnostic
YP: But why are we here? dammit man answer me!
OMD: First of all, don’t call me “man”. I wouldn’t want to be of the two-leggeds.
YP: Why not?
OMD: Well, you know how we lick ourselves?
YP: Yeah, because we can!
OMD: Exactly. very few of the humans can do this. and they work for cirque du soleil
YP: Whatever that is
OMD: And B, we are here because we were bred
YP: Bread? white or wheat?
OMD: In your case, toast.
OMD: Like your picky. i’ve seen what you’ve scarfed out of the garbage
YP: Mmmmm, garbage
OMD: No, I mean bred, like, we were born to be pets for the tall folk
YP: Like an animal in the zoo!
OMD: Only with better benefits
YP: But if we’re no better than fish in a bowl, how do we know if we matter?
OMD: Latro ergo sum
YP: (Scratches behind his ear)
OMD: I bark, therefore I am. Does that answer your question?
YP: Ahhh, that’s the spot (still scratching)
OMD: Fine, then don’t ask me questions if you don’t want the answers (yawns)