A conversation between two dogs

setting:  Cubby Bear, the Portuguese Water Dog, perched upon his couch alternating between licking and scratching and Sugar Bear, the other Portuguese Water Dog, rolling around on her back on the carpet…

Cubby:  I hear-by call this meeting of canines to order.  Shall I wave the reading of the minutes?

Sugar:  Yeah.  The readers don’t understand Portuguese anyway.  And what kind of title is “A conversation between two dogs?”

Cubby:  A conversation between two ferns was taken.

Sugar:  Damn you Zach Galifianakas!  He’s not even a dog.

Cubby:  He kind of looks like a dog.

Sugar:  Yeah, a dead dog!  Bwahaha.  Look.  I’m literally rolling on the floor laughing…

Cubby:  Alright.  Watch the profanity and threats.  This is a family blog.  Any old business to discuss?

Sugar:  I got some old business.  Whatever happened to that white, puffy dog?  I like small dogs…

Cubby:  Who Max?  He was just here for a slumber party.  He’ll be back to visit in a couple of weeks.

Sugar:  Great!  He was a strange looking Portuguese Water Dog anyway..

Cubby:  He’s not a Portie.  He’s a Bichon Frisse.

Sugar:  A what?

Cubby:  That’s French for Portuguese Water Dog wannabe.  Any other old business?

Sugar:  Yeah, why do you keep licking yourself?

Cubby:  Because I can.  Why do you keep rolling on your back?

Sugar:  Because I am not too obese to rollover.  Just one of my many tricks.

Cubby:  You’re such a people pleaser.  Too bad you’re so stinky.

Sugar:  Am not!

Cubby:  You eat poop and burp in their faces.

Sugar:  I like to share.  Besides, you eat everything else, Chubby.

Cubby:  At least I ate a turkey dinner.  And I shared half of it with the people.  There’s no accounting for taste.  Any new business?

Sugar:  I got new business.  I heard something about it being National Dog Day the other day.

Cubby:  Every afternoon is dog day.  Where’d you hear about it?

Sugar:  Internets..

Cubby:  Which internets?

Sugar:  ya know, Dogbook.  Our big holiday and all the humans mustered up was a hot dog dinner.  See what I did there?  Mustard!  ROFLing again.  Rolf is my favorite muppet btw.

Cubby:  A little information is dangerous.  Yes, it was National Dog Day.  But it’s more of our holiday than a human holiday.

Sugar:  Shouldn’t we be celebrated for the pampered fur balls that we are?

Cubby:  Sure, that’s everyday.  National Dog Day is when we paws – see I can pun too – to remember our furry forebears.

Sugar:  4 bears?

Cubby:  For the Chicago Bears!  No I meant foredogs.  Those pups that came before us.

Sugar:  Like Lassie and Rin Tin Tin?

Cubby:  No, those closer to home.  That have special meaning to our family.  Those that have passed recently.

Sugar:  Oh.  In that case, I have no more new business.

Cubby:  OK.  I hereby call this meeting to close with a special toast to our foredog:  Fozzie Bear!  My favorite muppet!

Sugar:  And to Zach Galifianakas – who should be a muppet!


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